Friday, March 11, 2011

Etiquette Tips – 07 “Responses on Reply Cards”


Response cards are essential to wedding stationery, but to some future bride and grooms they cause unnecessary stress. Here are some answers to common questions about response cards:

Q: What should my reply by date be?

A: It’s standard to have your reply by date four weeks before your wedding. That way, you can give the venue a head count before your special day, you have some time to contact those who haven’t replied and you can start putting together seating charts.

Q: What is put in the blank if a card says, “will _ attend”?

A: If the guest is attending, they should write the number of guests going: “Will 2 attend”. If the guest cannot attend, they would write the word “not’ on the line. Note: never put an x on the line, it makes your response unclear.

Q: What exactly goes on the M _ line?

A: The names of the people replying. Even if you are not attending, you still need to include your name so they know who is responding. Also, never add anyone on the reply card who was not invited (usually, the inner envelope lists the guests invited). If the guest is a doctor, they can strike out the M and put Dr. If you are inviting a lot of doctors, you can omit the M and just leave a line.

Q: Why is the response card a folded note card?

A: That’s so guests can write special messages for the couple to be. Feel free to congratulate them, and let them know you are excited about the big day! Some response cards don’t have any writing on them besides the reply by date, so be sure to indicate your name and whether or not you can attend.

Q: What wording should I use to ask guests whether or not they are attending?

A: Standard response cards usually say something like “happily accepts” and “regretfully declines”, however now couples are being more creative with their wording, and even including little images (see photo above for some great ideas!)

Q: I need to include my food choices, how do I do that?

A: Keep menu options short and sweet! Filet mingnon is a perfect description (if that’s what it is)- you don’t need to include what sides it’s served with. Also, guests should select an entrée choice for each person attending. For instance, if two people are invited and one wants chicken while the other wants the eggplant, they should write 1 on the chicken selection and 1 on the eggplant selection.

Q: I have people that haven’t responded yet, how do I know if they are coming or not?

A: Call them! If you haven’t received a response from some guests by your response day (unfortunately this seems to be inevitable), you can contact them via phone to confirm their attendance. It is not a good idea to just ‘wait and see if they show up.’

Hope that helps, and good luck!

Fondly,

CTM

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